“When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car”
Short funny quotes, Unknown.

“Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.”
Short funny quotes, Anonymous.

“Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the ‘Y’ becomes silent.”
Short Funny Quote by, Anonymous.

“Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.”
Short and funny quote by, Rich Cook.

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.”
Short funny quotes by, Franklin P. Jones.

“All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.”
Short funny quotes by, Anonymous.

“A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.”
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.

“In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.”
Short and funny quote by, Anonymous.